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How is my cup supposed to overflow, when there isn't even a dribble inside?
Parched. Drained. Dry. Nothing left. Not even a fairy-sized sip. I've poured out every drop and there's simply nothing left. I yearn for an abundance.
But even a splash would feel like a desert oasis if I could swish it around in my cup, watch it swirl around the sides before lapping it up, savoring its sweet wetness before it slides down my burning, exhausted throat.
My cup is cracked. It's chipped. And every dewdrop slides out before it can refresh me. It's not overflowing, it's leaking dry.
I love teacups and teapots. There's nothing quite like Earl Grey tea in a bone china cup delicately decorated with little pink flowers and silvery - grey swirls. It's refreshment and luxury that you can hold in your hands.
Once, in my haste, I cracked my Royal Doulton Tranquility tea pot. (The irony of the pattern name has not escaped me) I set it on my kitchen counter and poured the boiling water inside. A slow fizzing hissed from the delicate porcelain then water pooled on the counter. And there it was, a crack from stem to stern. The precious teapot had been cold and the water had been too hot. It cracked in the heat and my heart did too. It was my first teapot, given to me when I was 13.
And the thing about that cracked pot is it's still beautiful. You can only see the crack if you look closely. But it's not functional. It no longer holds water, but it sure looks beautiful on my shelf.
I think about that moment a lot. There are days, weeks, months where I just fill my homeschool with too much. I rush through the days too fast, trying so hard to fit it all in and get it all done. And the pressure and the haste of cramming it in and rushing through it often leads to some sort of fissure. Panic, regret, exhaustion, boredom, bitterness. Something cracks and joy hisses out and evaporates.
This is the time in every school year when most of us start cramming more in because we think we've "fallen behind" or we realize there's only so many days left and we haven't gotten to all we wanted to learn this year.
It's also the time of year when we are tired, worn out and maybe even bored with our homeschool. This is the time of year when it becomes easier to plan next year than to finish this year.
But just like a teapot is both beautiful and functional, so is homeschooling. The function is educating our child. The beauty is being able to do it in a way that brings life to us, to our kids, to our world.
So today, if you are feeling empty or cracked, can you just stop a minute and think about why. What is it that you're pouring into your life that is stressing you and robbing you of the beauty of homeschooling?
Is it the taskmaster inside your head telling you you must complete every lesson before the end of the year?
Perhaps it's comparison to your friend and her children.
Is it the demands of your co-op?
Maybe it's feeling behind.
Is it sitting at the table looking at the beautiful weather wishing you could be outside instead of doing math?
It could be that a certain subject just isn't what you thought it was going to be but you spent the money on it and so you feel beholden to it.
Friend, you can let all that go.
In institutional school, a subject is considered complete when the teacher completes 75% of the syllabus work.
You don't know what struggles that "perfect homeschool mom" is having.
It's okay to say "this co-op isn't working for us right now, we need a break."
Behind whom or what? Grades are a construct made for institutions so that they have goals and guidelines. As a homeschool mom, you decide where you need to be and where you are is where you need to be right now.
So, go outside. It's okay to shorten your day or cancel it all together so you can get outside and enjoy spring. Or, take your school work with you.
You can simply say, "you know what, this isn't what I wanted, so what can I do to make it better?" Add videos? Hands-on stuff? Field trips?
The beauty of making tea, I've learned, is that it's a process that takes time. First you temper the teapot with warm water. Then you brew the tea. Then you enjoy the results. That, my friend, is the most beautiful metaphor for homeschooling. It's a process that takes time. Each step, each lesson, has a purpose and we can't rush through them or cram more into them to make it better or faster.
Homeschooling, like tea drinking, is about savoring. So, don't pour boiling water into the fragile container that is your life. Slow down and enjoy the process. Make the beauty last.